scientology

scientology
1. (scientology) (9943↑, 517↓)
See [sham], [fraud], [fake], or any word adjacent to those. Basically its a falsetto 'religion' in which eternal happiness is attained by donating all of your money to the leaders. Founded by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to scheme money and make a fast buck off his books. One of the 'holiest' days in this religion is Hubbard's birthday. Because most celebrites such as Tom Cruise and John Travolta are too stupid to realize it, they belong to this group.

If you even THINK of joining scientology, you should be kicked in the balls...hard.

2. (Scientology) (5528↑, 343↓)
A cult founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. There core beliefs are as follows: This area of the galaxy was once ruled by an alien warlord named Xenu. 65 million years ago his empire was overpopulated horribly, so to combat the overpopulation he had trillions of citizens called in for psychiatric evalutations and tax audits, where they were given paralytic drugs, loaded onto space planes, and flown to Planet Teegeeack. Once on this planet, their bodies were stacked in huge piles around volcanoes, while atom bombs were dropped into these volcanos, instantly killing trillions of galactic citizens. To keep these people from reincarnating in the rest of the galaxy, Xenu set up a special trap. Powerful force-fields kept their souls (called "Thetans" in Scientology jargon) from escaping, and these thetans were then shown special holographic movies about the various lies they are supposed to believe, with characters like Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha. Over time, these thetans began to believe Xenu's lies about false gods, and began to reincarnate on Teegeeack (but the thetans called this world "Earth"). When intelligent life appeared on Teegeeack, thousands or millions of "Thetans" cling to every native soul (er, "thetan") and fill it's head with nonsensical thoughs and irrational beliefs. The key idea of Scientology is to avoid tax officials and psychiatrists at all costs, while paying the church a large amount of money for special "counseling" (called "auditing" in their jargon) to help you reach a special enlightened state called "Clear" where you telepathically communicate with these "thetans" clinging to you and force them out of your body, and rid yourself of evil Xenu's influence. (By the way, most Scientologists don't know this, like the Mystery Cults of the Greco-Roman world, Scientology doles it's doctrine out in tiny doses to it's new recruits, and tells the public next to nothing about what it believes. You don't hear that whole story until you reach a special rank in their group called "OT3" for "Operating Thetan 3". Their doctrine holds that if this got out, the Thetans in people would revolt at hearing the truth and people would get sick and die possibly just by hearing this story, which of course leads people who aren't Scientologists who hear this story to tell it to others and watch them not die or get ill from it.)

The Church of Scientology takes advantage of the gullibility of the American people to make a tidy profit.

3. (scientology) (2970↑, 246↓)
A new-age religion thought up by ex-sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard. They try to recruit new members by offering them 'personality tests' to determine the 'root cause' of the person's unhappiness. Interestingly, the solution to this 'root cause' is usually paying lots of money to the Church of Scientology. Scientologists have been rightly satirised in several TV programmes, films and computer games, for example the movementarian cult in The Simpsons or the hubologists in Fallout 2, but despite this Scientology is still attracting a steady stream of new converts. The main reason for this is that people are idiots.

"Hey, did you notice that the personality test on www.scientology.org almost always tells you that you're unstable and depressed?"

4. (scientology) (2669↑, 219↓)
The science of making money. A pseudo-religion set up by a money grabbing black magician/adulterer/corrupt bastard called L. Ron Hubbard.

Scientology will suck your money out of you quicker than Hoover sucks shit.

5. (scientology) (2160↑, 200↓)
A religous cult who's beliefs revolve around an intergalactic warlord named "Xenu" who nuked a bunch of aliens here on Earth billion of years ago. The souls of these aliens, called "Thetans", now inhabit our bodies and make us unhappy. The only way to get rid of these "Thetans" is to pay a bunch of money to these con men for the rest of your life.

Scientology is the biggest con of all time.

6. (scientology) (1794↑, 182↓)
Scientologists give a lot more than their money. Scientology is a living hell once you reach the stage "Clear". You are then informed about "Operating Thetan III" whereupon you are asked to join "The Sea Organisation" or "Sea Org". Since they have you brainwashed by now, you eagerly except. The Sea Org is like a concentration camp on a boat. You are forced to undergo intense physical labor. If you displease the slave masters, or "Captains" in anyway, you are punished in a manner called "Ethics". You are subject to phsyical torture, sleep deprivation, things like running from 7AM to 9PM, or mopping the deck all day in the sun in a black jumpsuit. They put you in a "recovery group" if you are being punished, and they try to brainwash you further so that you won't act out again. In this group, there's no telling if or when you might eat, or how much food you get, and living quarters are dark, hellish, roach infested, and damp. If you act out again, you are either put in a second level of "Recovery", where most people perish from exhaustion. If you have done anything seirous, (Most reasons were as minor as improperly addressing a Captain), but if you have done anything that they consider serious (plans to leave, treason, mutiny), there is a book that shows level of ways to execute. The most common way is blindfolding the prisoner, tying the hands and feet together, and dropping them off the edge of the boat into the ocean. Scientology is like some creepy science fiction movie, but it's all really happening. They have "Churches of $cientology" set up everywhere, they have an army, and endorsements from celebrities like Tom Cruise, Nancy Cartwright, Chick Corea, and John Travolta. It's a seriously dangerous thing to get involved in, and I reccomend this website to anyone considering joining: www.xenu.net

Scientology is very clever and manipulative. A gullible person could easily fall for it by thinking they are just participants in a simple personality test. Next thing they know, they are slaves at a concentration camp. Brainwashed, tortured, deprived of food and sleep, and possibly being tied up and tossed into the sea. And if they end up surviving, that's hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a good chunk out of your life, gone, never able to get back. If you've already started taking the courses, you are already being brainwahsed and you don't know it. Of course they tell you to disregard this sort of talk. By tuning it out, and not listening to the anti- Scientologists, you are proving their point. You are being brainwashed.

7. (Scientology) (1260↑, 167↓)
The religion created by the minor Science Fiction writer, L. Ron Hubbard in 1952. Scientology teaches that you are an immortal "thetan" that is entrapped in the physical universe and your own problems by your thoughts (considerations and postulates). In practice, Scientology is the exact opposite of what it teaches. It claims to free you, but most people would say that Scientologists are brainwashed and enslaved. It claims to promote freedom of speech, but Scientology sues anyone who says anything bad about Scientology. It claims to want to improve the earth, but sues anyone who tries to use it's books and techniques without paying a license. It is a very schizophrenic and dangerous organization whose members actually infiltrated and spied on the U.S. government in the biggest ever case of its type in U.S. history.

If Scientology got big, the people who get in their way would be killed.

8. (scientology) (724↑, 118↓)
Fake ass religion that suckers people into giving money to cheapo bastards. What they tell you about it is that if you believe in Scientology you will be forever happy, however, this is just an excuse to get your money.

Many rich Celebirties are in the Church of Scientology. Hmmmmmm........

9. (scientology) (618↑, 70↓)
One word. Bullshit

Scientology is the mother of all bullshits\! I still can't believe people still believe in this crap\! bunch of dumb fucks etc Tom Cruise

10. (scientology) (576↑, 76↓)
The science of making money that answers the eternal unanswered questions such as "I wonder just how gullible and stoooopid i am". It has been crapped onto the world since the early 1950s by one of the world's greatest con-artists/[dipshit]s, L Ron Hubbard. Unfortunately the gullible Earth natives to whom this was presented to, they turned out to be so desperate to [get a life] and to believe this trash which may appear to be handed to them on a silver platter, where infact it was a permanent $100/week subscription to utter [bullshit]. The wisdom (ironically, [stupidity] is much more suitable) of the scientology subject will probably be realized by the current primitives who would be stupid enough to belive they are the hosts of alien souls as a result of an alien warlord who went bonkers with nukes, instead of being pawns in a money making scheme. Hopefully in a few generations, humankind, if it survives the [bullshit] of scientology, will evolve from its brainwashed and cash-strapped stage and the generations living then will realize how fucked in the head were people to believe in a cult started out by a small-time sci-fi writer. Hence most of the work of current officers of Scientology is concerned with making money off desperate losers and stoned celebrities.

The simplest meaning for the word Scientology would be [BULLSHIT]

Author: truthteller tells no truth http://scientology.urbanup.com/1408422
11. (Scientology) (520↑, 82↓)
A halfassed plot for a sci-fi novel turned into a 'Religion' by L. Ron Hubbard.

A Scientologist and his money are soon parted.

12. (scientology) (440↑, 95↓)
(n.) The reason for earthly unhappiness.

The church of Scientology could actually make us a lot happier if it folded.

13. (scientology) (607↑, 286↓)
Another fuckin con. When are people going to learn that the Occult world of gurus and cults is nothing but a scam run by Satan-worshiping con men?

If you're looking for the truth try the bible.You don't have to be lead around by some group of con men who only seek to brainwash you into giving them all of your money.Plus if you actually read the bible Christ warned in advance that these rotten sob's were a bunch of con men.Plus if you get too involved with that garbage then you'll actually sell your soul to the devil. Turn away from that trash while you still can.

Author: I hope they all burn in hell for all eternity. http://scientology.urbanup.com/1113481
14. (scientology) (434↑, 129↓)
A religion that rich people/celebirties follow because they believe that it erases bad memories.

John Travolta, Tom Cruise, and others are in the Church of Scientology.

15. (scientology) (347↑, 78↓)
scientology:"making celebrities pay for religion since 1952" the biggest con of the 20th century.(thats saying a LOT)

p.t. barnum could have done better himself...

16. (Scientology) (332↑, 65↓)
Scientology is a mock religion created by the reincarnation of Hitler, Robert E. Lee, Benedict Arnold, and Satan himself. For the purposes of this article this culmination of people will be referred to as Ron L. Hubbard. Hubbard wrote a book called Dianetics for people who hate themselves but think they are to cool to go emo. The first edition of this book had special brainwashing powers and caused whoever reads it to subscribe to the religion scientology. When this was found out, the publisher stopped puting the brainwashing chips in, but the cult following grew. The basic beliefs are that aliens were killed by an alien and got blown up so bad that they died and got stuck in our brains. The sole purpose of these alien pricks is to piss us off. The hierarches of scientology make their followers give them all of their money. This money is then forwarded to Satan for his crusade against Jesus. In recent times, with his growing power, Satan created "Scientolobabies" who grew into celebrities spreading scientology bullshit.

Oh my God its scientology SHOOT IT\!\!\!\!

17. (scientology) (331↑, 66↓)
See [cult], [scam] and [retarded]. Basically the religion (har har) of Scientology says that some aliens did some shit a long time ago and that is why people are unhappy assholes. Founded by writer L. Ron Hubbard after he started taking his own books a little bit too seriously (or just got greedy, who knows). If you pay them you get some devices and stuff that are supposed to purify you, and move you up the 'chain of command' until you get to join some sort of secret inner circle and plot how to take money away from other dumbasses. They didnt even add most of the alien shit until a bunch of people gave enough money to get promoted to the 'pure' stage and still werent happy. Very popular with celebrities and other amoral rich people because the basic tenet is you can buy your way into heaven without any of the stipulations most other religions put on that, like not being a hedonistic, backstabbing little [bitch].

Scientology: Object Proof that Celebrities are Dumb

18. (scientology) (309↑, 63↓)
In other words, the biggest scam on the planet in its entire history. Anyone believing what this "religion" does is true, is brainwashed. They interfered with rescue efforts at the WTC on 9/11, and after being forcefully removed, walked back in, and tried to SELL their shit to people who were bleeding, crying, and desperately looking for friends and family . It's a [religion] based upon a horrible book aimed at converting everyone to be rid of "crime, insanity" and everything else they believe to be bad. All definitions on this website claiming Scientology is beneficial and good, are probably written by brainwashed arses.

WTC, 9/11 - Interfered with paramedics and others attempting to rescue, tried to make profit selling their books there. London Bombings - Again attempted to interfere with paramedics by trying to "touch" those they were tending to. The Internet - Launching cases against anyone and everyone who writes anything negative about them. If they find the person's ISP, they sue the ISP as well. Free Speech - They claim to endorse it, but one bad word against them turns into a hundred lawsuits.

Author: Scientology Sucks http://scientology.urbanup.com/1400756
19. (Scientology) (281↑, 63↓)
A load of brainwashing money grabbing crap. A religion that goes around teaching crap and harassing people who disagree with them. They are liars and cheats. You can tell these people are lying just by looking at their face while they're talking.

Scientology is bad, MMkay?

20. (scientology) (283↑, 69↓)
A dumb religion where rich famous people go to, cause its "Cool"

"Tom Cruise believes in Scientology.

21. (scientology) (277↑, 78↓)
people who try to either get your money or make you become very depressed, because thier personality tests always say that you are already manically depressed.

The world would be a better place without scientology.

Author: meesterbandleader http://scientology.urbanup.com/292420
22. (scientology) (253↑, 57↓)
[L. Ron Hubbard]'s successful attempt to win a bet made in 1948, with [Robert Heinlein], that the best way to get rich was to start a religion. Scientology was that religion, kicked off by the pseudo-self-help book Dianetics in 1949. By 1982, Hubbard's income from the Church of Scientology was about 40 million a year. There's some question about whether Scientologists murdered Hubbard, but Scientologists didn't allow an investigation before cremating the body. The head of Scientology today is a guy named David Miscavige, and the second-tier defacto rulers are in a sub-sect called the Sea Org. Spiritual enlightenment, thinking for yourself, and attempting to leave the organization are strongly discouraged, and punishable by confinement, beatings, and psychological torture. And, gee whiz, for a lot of money and some slave labor, you can buy your way into the entrails of Scientology too\!

hmmm... That's some pretty good propaganda. You could start another scientology with it.

23. (Scientology) (264↑, 70↓)
the one religion where doing cocaine is a must .. seeing as it was made by L. Ron Hubbard you have to be high on coke to take it seriously .. come the fuck on L. RON HUBBARD HE WROTE FICTIONAL NOVELS FOR CHRISTS SAKE\!

Id rather worship an old ladys cooch then be a scientolo-fag(scientology)

24. (scientology) (270↑, 81↓)
A cash-driven pseudo religion that encourages it's members to dress up as 8' dogs with dreadlocks and run around in the future

John Travolta went to the Church of Scientology to discuss his latest movie treatment

25. (scientology) (210↑, 39↓)
THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE: Xenu (sometimes Xemu) is introduced as an alien ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy" who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of people to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and they continue to do this today, wreaking havoc in the process. Hubbard called these clustered spirits "Body Thetans," and the advanced levels place considerable emphasis on isolating them and neutralizing their ill effects. I must tell you the founder of this so-called "religion" was L.Ron Hubbard a SCIENCE-FICTION writer. Hubbard's 1958 book Have You Lived Before This Life documents past lives described by individual Scientologists during auditing sessions. These included memories of being "deceived into a love affair with a robot decked out as a beautiful red-haired girl", "being run over by a Martian bishop driving a steamroller", "being transformed into an intergalactic walrus that perished after falling out of a flying saucer", and (my personal favorite) being "a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago". In comparison, modern astrophysical observations have established the age of the universe at 13.7 billion (13,700,000,000) years, to within about 1% confidence. Scientology, their beliefs, and followers in a nutshell...

Scientology...well what the fuck can you say about it, its a ton of bullshit.

26. (scientology) (250↑, 80↓)
A Satanic cult that makes you fat.

I think they're in cahoots with Jenny Craig.

27. (scientology) (215↑, 52↓)
basically a bullshit religon which desperate celberties believe in and other desperate fucks

Omg\! Tom Cruise is so stupid because of his extreme amouunt money he combusted and became a member of scientology just like michael Jacckson, when he turned rich he decided to fuck lil boys and turn white....waaa fucking hooooo yay to all of you combusted fuckers

28. (Scientology) (180↑, 31↓)
Not to be confused with actual science or religion, this sad excuse for a religion is laughable. Created by a science fiction writer "Scientology" is almost like one of those second person choose your own adventure books. The word science does not actually appear in the name. Instead we have "Scient," a make believe term that pulp fiction author L. Ron Hubbard made himself. He made up this word when he made up his biggest science fiction story of all time, "Scientology."

John: Hey Bill wanna join up at the church of Scientology with me? Bill: Are you out of your fucking mind\!

29. (Scientology) (188↑, 54↓)
Technically this word is a mishmash of latin and greek: Scient (from the latin scientia) meaning knowledge and Ology (from greek) to talk about (implies studying) Mr. Hubbard the all seeing should have known better than to mix the two languages in one word. Other examples of well formed non-made up words of this type are: Theology: Talking about God (both halves from Greek) Biology: Talking about living things (both halves from Greek)

Ron: I just made up a word for my rip-off religion, it's "Scientology" from the ancient words for knowledge and study. Scino: But aren't they from two different ancient languages, I'm not sure you can do that... Ron: What the hell do you know??? Who's the cult leader here??? Scino: Is that a tax inspector over there? Ron: No it's Xenu\! We'd better run anyway\!

Author: The Grinstead Courier http://scientology.urbanup.com/1553436
30. (Scientology) (174↑, 44↓)
Founded in the 1950's by pulp fiction writer [L. Ron Hubbard] Scientology is "the study of truth." It comes from the Latin word "scio" meaning "knowing in the fullest sense of the word" and the Greek word "logos" meaning "study of." Scientologists believe that the body is a enternal spiritual being, and that one can not only solve their own problems, accomplish goals and gain lasting happiness, but also achieve new, higher states of awareness and ability. Nah seriously, Scientology is a bunch of fricken crap\! Using mind control techniques anyone participating in the cult's "auditing" will be converted into a total brain dead drone. Just ask [Tom Cruise] and his mindless "partner" [Katie Holmes] Keep away - unless you want to lose all your money, friends and brain cells.

You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do. - you're glib. Matt matt matt matt matt... now, where's a couch? -- Scientology brainwashed cultee

31. (scientology) (177↑, 51↓)
1. A religion that dicks you out of your money and is overall very stupid. 2. A very stale internet meme. It was funny the first time when it was on South Park but when YTMND picked it up FIVE FUCKING MONTHS later and repeated the joke over and over and over and over it got completely stale. Ok. We get it. Xenu is a stupid story, blah blah blah. MOVE ON.

1. Guy 1: God Scientology is stupid. Guy 2: I know. 2. Guy 1: OMG XENU LOLOLOLOLOL TOM CRUISE Guy 2: You're a moron.

32. (Scientology) (140↑, 14↓)
Scientology was founded by L. Ron Hubbard in the 20th century. Scientology is practically a [fake], [lie], [sham], [con] or deceitful, whatever you wish to call it. Scientology takes advantage of the gullibility and stupidity of people around the world, just to earn extra pocket money. Scientology believes that a warlord known as "Xenu" obliterated a bunch of aliens a very long time ago. The bad souls of the aliens, called "Thetans", feed our body, thus making us depressed. They believe the only way of getting rid of these "Thetans" are to pay the Church of Scientology more money. Only people with a large amount of stupidity and gullibillity would join this cult, such as Tom Cruise.

If you're thinking of joining Scientology, you are one gullible and stupid human being.

Author: Scientology is Shit http://scientology.urbanup.com/3203094
33. (scientology) (180↑, 60↓)
A disease which infects many weak souls. Anyone infected with the disease feels they are superior, and the only ones who understand life. The disease also makes people act like a bunch of loudmouthed assholes who just want to sell books for their psuedo-religion. Comparable to placebos, a chimp's behind, and communism.

If scientology were a person, it would be slightly gay, and with small genitalia.

34. (scientology) (169↑, 52↓)
Proof that humans are so desperate to be told what to think, rather than seek and question for themselves, that they can be easily led about by someone claiming to have the answers to all of the burning questions they are too lazy to answer for themselves. Scientology is also an example of the saying, "If you believe in nothing, you'll fall for anything." Intellectually-challenged individuals buy into a philosophy that makes them feel that the cause of all of their woes does not lie with them, but the human existence that they are trapped in. In essence, Scientologists are a more successful version of [furries]. Rather than deluding themselves into thinking they are animals trapped in human bodies, they believe they are aliens trapped in human bodies. Scientology is what [furrydom] or [trekkies] would be if they became a formally-recognized religion.

"I just had someone tell me that I'm a meek "Earth native" and then said something about them being a Vorlon trapped in a human body. I'm not sure if they were from the Church of Scientology or a furry convention." "Were they dressed in fake ears and tail?" "No." "Then they were probably a Scientologist."

35. (Scientology) (132↑, 31↓)
Hoax religion founded by science fiction author and fucktard as a tax shelter, using material from his published works of science fiction as articles of faith. It is also known in its alternate spelling as "Sollontology", as coined by TV talk show genius Gorgeous George. Scientology is not to be confused with crap. Adherents of Scientology are primarily Hollywood celebrities, lawyers, and women who want to penetrate Tom Cruise. Scientology drama is all too common, and most of it is extremely amusing. For instance, to advance in the faith to OT level III to learn the tale of Xenu, the galactic tyrant who stacked hundreds of billions of his frozen citizens on planes that looked like DC8's with rocket engines, and hauled them over to Earth to be thrown into volcanoes for at least 100 years before blowing them up with hydrogen bombs and brainwashing them with a "three-D, super colossal motion picture" for 36 days. The traumatised thetans subsequently clustered around human bodies, in effect acting as invisible spiritual parasites that can only be removed using advanced Scientology techniques. The cost of reaching OT III is only $360,000. Central to the belief is in alien past lives, such as being "decieved into a love affair with a robot decked out as a beautiful red-haired girl", being run over by a Martian bishop driving a steamroller, being transformed into an intergalactic walrus which perished after falling out of a flying saucer and being "a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago". All of this was on Wikipedia, so it is guaranteed the absolute truth. If you are completely and fully suckered in, you can join an elite sector of Scientologists, the Sea Org, which stands for "Sea Organization". This arm of the "Church" was dreamed up by Hubbard in the mid-60's because he was a) really drunk/doped out of his mind most of the time, and b) because he felt butthurt by the real U.S. Navy, who refused to give him ill-gotten glory and fame, so he made a toy navy of some real piece of shit ships. If you're a good enough and devout enough Scientologist, when you join the Sea Org, you must sign a contract that binds you to the Scientology religion, the Sea Org and L. Ron Hubbard for a billion years, pledging to "come back" in all your reincarnations to serve him for that time. In exchange you get some really nifty things... You get about $16 a week in pay, your personal I.D. taken from you and locked away so you can't jump ship, you get to do demeaning and degrading physical labour and give the Church tacit permission to put you in the "RPF" (Rehabilitation Project Force) which is a punishment gulag that will make you beg, whine and plead like a little bitch for that degrading regular labour back. You may even find yourself locked in a ship's chain locker if at sea, or in the basement of the Ft. Harrison Hotel with all that healthy asbestos. The RPF makes Gitmo Bay look like Club Med. In an interesting side note, while the crew of the Sea Org were sweating and toiling at sea on the Apollo, Hubbard's Sea Org flagship, Hubbard himself surrounded himself with nubile, blonde 13 year old girls in hot pants and halter tops that he dubbed the "Commodore's Messenger Organization" or "CMO". He did this because running Scientology is serious fucking business. Sadly for him, he was also impotent. Most agree that it is batshit insane, and Battlefield Earth was as good a movie as getting jackhammered in the urethra for 3 hours. Scientology is, however, a very important part of society; it is one of the main sources in the Western world for the lulz.

If you believe in an Alien god you are most likely believe in Scientology

36. (Scientology) (137↑, 37↓)
A religion that was created by a SCIENCE FICTION WRITER\!\!\! L. Ron Hubbard\<--- who got all his scientology information/bullcrap by feeding his son SPEED (the drug) and then wrote down whatever his son said. then he even said "best way to make money is to start your own religion"...which he then did... Scientology has many fucked up rules 1. if anyone who badmouths or criticizes scientology is a criminal, regardless of past history, likewise with people who leave scientology, destroy them any way possible, you have permission from the church of scientology(i shit you not...this is the literal rules) 2. Pay to play: got no money? get the FUCK out of scientology 3. Recruit celebrities: GET CELEBRITIES FOR FREE ADVERTISING (this is also one of their rules...100% no bs) 4. Vitamins make everything better\! brain tumor? NO PROBLEM HERE HAVE SOME VITAMINS... OF COURSE THEY WORK L.RON SAID THEY WOULD...PROOF? WHO NEEDS PROOF WHEN YOU HAVE THETANS\!\!\! 5. If your dear loving family are not scientologists...either recruit them or cut them off completely, aww your moms dying? GOOD\! SHE ISNT A SCIENTOLOGIST SHE DESERVES TO DIE 6. Psychology and psychiatry ARE EVIL...THEY WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HOLOCAUST? (we dont need to prove...thetans remember?)...WHY? BECAUSE WE SAY SO...(besides we wouldnt want them to get rid of all our brain washing...) 7. MIND ALTERING DRUGS ARE EVIL...NOW LETS GO TAKE SOME WEED AND DRINK ALCHOHOL (L. Ron Hubbard was a heavy user of drugs) 8. Bribary and lying is justifiable if it benifits the church...we are above the law 9. If we cant beat them...sue them and incite violence against them until they are crushed...(sounds like the KKK and the NAZIs) 10. history is nothing...we can change it at our convienience...thats why L.Ron hubbard has about a thousand war medals...to bad those medals and official documents about them dissapeared...OH WELL guess you'll have to take our word for it

Scientology has caused many tragedies...go to wikipedia or google and look up what they did to Lisa McPherson Go to youtube.com and type in scientology...you will see first hand how they abuse a reporter in an insane manner for trying to celebrate july 4th They have bribed/brainwashed huge ammounts of the police force in various communities...soon they will truly be above the law no one will be safe scientologists claim to have over 25 million members world wide...funny that the official government cenus and other records say its not even half of that...maybe 1/10th They hope to destroy all forms of psycology and psychiatry...ironic that they use those techniques/practices themselves when "stress testing" people. if scientology is allowed to grow, the ability to care for those with mental diseases or issues will decay. the practices and beliefs of scientology are making cracks within society with its agressive, selfish, and ignorant policies. they are encouraging violence and abuse to those who they deem "heretics" or "enemys"...if you say anything bad about them BAM "enemy" or "criminal"...if you try to leave their organisation BAM "heretic"

37. (Scientology) (134↑, 40↓)
(SIYE-in-THAW-luh-gee) A money [cult] founded by [science fiction] writer [L. Ron Hubbard]. It is centered around the belief that aliens invaded the world and brainwashed us, and that Hubbard is a kind of [Messiah] whose ideas will lead us to wisdom. Here's the catch: You have to give lots of money to the [Church of Scientology] if you want to get in, and they use this money to buy everything from pamphlets to enormous cruise yachts, and because they're considered a religion, they don't have to pay the taxes we do\! Yet for some reason, many people in [Hollywood], most notably [Tom Cruise], buy into this "religion". And whenever someone tries to reveal the truth about Scientology on a large scale, or accuses the mod [larsony], the [Scienstapo] will harass them by incessant sueing. So in short, Scientology is just another cult.

Dealing with Scientology: Scientologist: "What are YOU doing?" \<takes out pamphlets\> Random person: "Avoiding a Scientologist."

38. (scientology) (133↑, 43↓)
The very definition of retarded. Wackos who believe that aliens were ass rapped on earth and killed by a space dictator. Also practice this them selves.

man one "Dude I heard that bob is joining Scientology." man two "yeah, better cover your ass or he'll get it." man one "he'll pull a Tom Cruise on me?"

39. (scientology) (131↑, 45↓)
A religion created by L. Ron Hubbard, which believes that the human souls are actually of aliens from ancient. Major selling point is that Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Isaac Hayes are all scientologists. See South Park Episode for more detail. The irony is that South Park made fun of scientology, a seemingly white religion, and the only black voice on the show was offended and quit. ROFLMAO.

Instead of finding Jesus, I found Scientology. Hallelujah\!

40. (scientology) (99↑, 15↓)
Another word for bullshit

"Hey Terry, thats a load of Scientology.

41. (scientology) (132↑, 52↓)
A safe-haven for gay celebrities to hide their sexual preference, with maximum protection (not to mention funding) from cult members.

Hi... I'm a closet homosexual- does this "Scientology" have enough money to create a whole new heterosexual perosona for myself? Yes?\!\! FABULOUS, darling...

42. (scientology) (122↑, 42↓)
Scientology is an amalgamation of two words that come from latin.Ology ,wich means the science of,and Scio wich means scam in latin.So the the word scientology roughly translates to the science of scamming people. The scam not only involves getting money from people but getting them to volunteer at scientology orgs and getting other suckers to join to group

Joe became such an expert at scientology that he conned several elderly people into to giving their life savings to the group, and donating all their free time to working at the church.

43. (scientology) (89↑, 25↓)
Dangerous [cult] founded by [Lafayette Ronald Hubbard] when his shite attempts at [science fiction] [epic]s failed to make him a [zillionaire]. Ropes people in by pretending to be a counselling service. Consists of an underclass of ordinary mortals who are charged through the soles of their boots for the chance to grab a hold of cheap electrical gizmos and read still cheaper sci-fi masquerading as a cross between [psychiatry] and [cosmology], and an upper crust of celebrities like [Tom Cruise] and [John Travolta] who are treated with [kid gloves] for their [PR] value. Among its out groups are psychiatrists and doctors ... well, ya gadda keep the more honest competition away. Avoid if you wish to stay solvent, if you wish to stay sane, if you fancy enjoying some good old-fashioned noisy childbirth ... or if you fancy eating clams.

Scientology. Pulp science fiction's answer to the Mormon Church.

44. (scientology) (89↑, 27↓)
A dangerous [cult] that masquerades as a religion and exploits vulnerable people.

Loads of really cool celebrities like [Tom Cruise] are into Scientology

Author: John James John Smith http://scientology.urbanup.com/2929451
45. (scientology) (110↑, 48↓)
A murderous cult,of dumb buttmunches,on an elevator to Hell.They've already killed some innocent people.Some of it's famous members are George Clooney,Tom Cruise,Isaac Hayes,and the crazy lady from Dharma & Greg.

George Clooney:Today it's America,tomorrow...the world. Isn't Scientology great?

46. (Scientology) (93↑, 32↓)
"A Cult" as defined by John Sweeney who is the definitive decider of what is and isnt a religion. Scientology - also know as a Sham, Fraudulent, Money Grabbing, Idiot magnet, Hubbard fetishists

That scientologist is gay. Yes, thats because he believes in that crackpot cult called Scientology.

47. (scientology) (73↑, 13↓)
A dangerous & manipulative pseudo-religious cult that promotes a fake religion through Hollywood (suitably called [Hollyweird]) connection by claiming to help eliminate unhappy memories & negative emotions from human consciousness to achieve the "Clear" status in order to attain superhuman powers like possessing the healing power of Jesus Christ, flying like Superman & fulfilling the fantasy of a mediocre Chevy Chase movie "Memoirs of an Invisible Man". The Church of Scientology was invented by [L. Ron Hubbard] who stated "the way to make a million dollars is to start a religion" in response to the run-away best-selling success of his self-help book "Dianetics" in the 50's to the stunned amazement of his fellow accomplished science fiction writers. Worse than [Dominionism] & [Mormon] Church in their strong-arming tactics reminiscent of severe threat of ostracization & bodily harm, [torture] & re-education in [totalitarian] regimes. Three things Scientology runners & its devout [fucked in the head] members hate the most: psychiatry, [IRS] and anti-Scientology bashers on the Internet. It's no wonder European countries, Germany in particular, vigorously prosecute Scientology for its shady money-making scheme conspiring to [brainwash] & [dupe] people into donating huge portion of their hard-earned incomes through selling houses, cars, properties, et cetera (in cases of rich Hollywood actors & established musicians, advancing through the courses would be easier by immediately paying hundreds of thousands out of pocket) Google to read the unbelievably insane June 1983 Penthouse interview with L. Ron Hubbard Junior (the founder's own son who was born severely premature because of a botched abortion by his daddy) who called the pseudo-religion Scientology "and other cults one-dimensional, and we live in a three-dimensional world. Cults are as dangerous as drugs. They commit the highest crime: the rape of the soul." Scientology is a reprehensibly sick & monstrously evil cult & must be wiped off the face of the Earth. It hates humankind by taking the advantage of uninformed people to exploit for greed & destroy lives by [blackmail] & violence if they try to bolt for the exit. Yet it continues to enjoy the freedom of religion guaranteed under the First Amendment, just like Mormon church founder Joseph Smith Junior took advantage of the Constitution to start a [horseshit] religion to [mind fuck] & control believers & converts in the quest for the Almighty Dollar.

Katie Holmes is a smart, spirited & marginally talented Catholic woman who became yet another [two-bit] brainwashed celebrity victim because her [flamer] love Tom Cruise (who uses her as his [beard]) insist that she try being audited by Scientologist counselors...good grief Nicole Kidman called [bullshit] & got dumped by him.

48. (Scientology) (73↑, 13↓)
scientology - 75 billion years ago, (3 times longer then the universe is belived to be by top scientists) in a federation of 11 galaxy's, warlord 'xenu' the dominant figure in the federation had a population crisis, so paraletic drugs were administored to trillions of the populus and then they were transported via dc-10 space planes, planes from the 50's and 60's, they were then dropped around the planet earths volcano's, and then atom bombs were fired inside them to instantly kill the trillions of 'thetans'. To stop the souls from escaping xenu had large force fields and ghost hovers to suck up the souls of the 'thetans' and placed them in 3-D viewing stations, basically 3-D cinema which showed 'xenu's' false gods, every other relgious belife and left them to wonder the planet eternally, but intellegent life formed and the thetans massed around the hosts and poisoned ther minds with relgion, and scientology claims to be the only way to remove this unhappyness through auditing sessions,and through a perminant subcription, and constatnt purchasing of over 3000 books on how to live in a scientological fashion. The creator as im sure you know was l.ron.hubbard, the most sly sex pest know to have exsisted, the law should forbid scientology to exsist due to it being utterly rediculous beyond belife and reason, its a money sapping con and will lead to disspear and brainwashing.

if your a follower of scientology please kill youself

49. (Scientology) (68↑, 9↓)
A space-opera fairy tale apparently believed by otherwise mentally-functioning adults, and which was simply made up by L. Ron Hubbard who famously proclaimed: "if you want to make a million dollars, start a religion\!" The Church of Scientology was born. Remarkably, "Scientology" is banned in Germany because even those very contrite Germans don't have to take THAT degree of bullshit. Ron L Hubbard maybe did not specifically mention kissing major celebrity ass to attract lots of gullible people to "Scientology". But all that Celebrity ass-kissing works really well for sucking in the 'recruits' - new members who are then systematically brainwashed, exploited and have their entire lives controlled, cult-style. Also you may not know of Ronnie's "faithful" members causing stupid harm other members' lives if such member comes to their senses and try to get OUT of Sci-fi 'tology. You can go debunk "Scientology" right now on the website Operation Clambake: www.http://www.xenu.net/ ... unless you happen to already BE a 'Scientologist' in which case you are given a special COS web browser that blocks out all reality from your computer screen.

I suspected my date was a little off in the head until she said she was "into Scientology just like Will Smith" at which point I pretended to go to the washroom and went home.

50. (scientology) (91↑, 33↓)
A synonym for nonsense.

Bush's administration is so bad at hiding things and all the crap they say just comes off as scientology.

51. (scientology) (85↑, 26↓)
A religion based on intimidation and dishonesty. A cuckoo religion that gets a high off suing the pharmaceutical corporations. practiced by Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley and John Travolta.

Scientology is an absolute sham, and considered to be a cult by many.

52. (Scientology) (74↑, 17↓)
Noun. A cult for individuals who need to be taken out of the gene-pool.

Wow, fuck Scientology.

53. (scientology) (77↑, 23↓)
Bat-shit fucking crazy.

"Hey, I hear that scientology is bat-shit crazy" says John Eric retorts "You know, you're right\!"

54. (scientology) (82↑, 31↓)
Scientology: The latest fad amongst celebrities. Requires spending an ungodly amount of money, which, of course, celebrities are attracted to. See [L. Ron Hubbard] and [Tom Cruise].

Donating money to charities was so 5 minutes ago\! Lets all go pour our money into some fake "Church" created by a Sci-Fi author\!\! Scientology in a Nutshell

55. (Scientology) (62↑, 13↓)
Scientology is a cult of [assholes] that constantly advertise on [urban dictionary] to try to recruit new victims.

loser 1: Did you see all the Scientology shit on U.D.? loser 2: Yeah, the ads are fucking annoying.

56. (scientology) (59↑, 13↓)
A cryptic and laughable sect, dressed as a religion (for tax purpose) that now advertise on Urban Dictionary (shame on you).

Dude A : Man, did you see those Scientology banners on UD? Dude B : Yep \! BustedTees may have some lame t-shirts, but at least, the chicks are hot...

57. (scientology) (91↑, 45↓)
A religion that is about as ridiculous as a literal interpretation of the bible.

However nutty Scientology (and those who believe its' stories literally) may be, the reality is that 33% of the US population literally believes in the bible, which is no more or less nutty.

58. (Scientology) (56↑, 17↓)
Some bogus religion.

Poor Tommy Cruise was brainwashed by those freaks of scientology.

59. (Scientology) (56↑, 18↓)
Scientology is a church started by L. Ron Hubbard According to dianetics (the Scientology bible) people are posessed by "tethans" (some sort of aliens) who make people sad or confused.

Members of the Church of Scientology believe in two higher powers: Xenu and Money

60. (Scientology) (53↑, 15↓)
A, Word created by a german scientist in the 1920s meant to mean "how to know" or "knowing how to know" as an attempt at creating a theory of knowledge B, [Paranoid] [cult] founded by pulp-science fiction writer and Lafayett Ronald Hubbard who stole the word Scientology to describe the movement originaly named Dianetics after his (unfortunatly) bestselling book after he´d gotten into trouble with the many people he´d licensed the name "dianetics" to. What started as a (supposedly) self-help book based (supposedly) on scientific experimentation (but since L Ron never made any experiments it was most likely dreamt up from his somewhat warped and drug-influenced imagination, much like his war record which allthough claimed by Hubbard and the church to be outstanding most notably includes him ordering the bombardment of an iron deposit on the sea floor mistaking it for a submarine and him almost dragging Mexico into the WWII by using a mexican island for target practice) grew into a movement after people started sending L Ron money to be educated as auditors (the people performing one of the most essential (and possibly brain-washing) techniques of the cult to supposedly help people). L Ron later created scientology as a way of gaining more control over the training and for him most essentialy the money payed to the movement. Among the history of scientology a few things stand out: 1, Hubbards many and always failing attempts to ingratiate himself with various governements which usually ended either with some form of prosecution or in a few cases with scientology being basicly kicked out of the country (as they were from Greece). The most prominent being the conflict with the US governement. Hubbards contact with it started with his rather failed serving in the navy which only earned him a couple of medals that where handed out to anybody who´d served in an arena of the war and a disability pension. After the war, during the fifties, Hubbard frecuently sent letters to the FBI. Among other things claiming that his ex-wife had tried to kill him. The FBI apperently thought of him as a nutter. Later the IRS started investigating his various enterprises which lead to him leaving the country. The weirdest part of this conflict was the fact that several cult-members managed to infiltrate federal buildings and copying IRS-files being used against the cult. When this was discovered many cult-members were pu on trial and sent to jail, including Hubbars wife. 2, Hubbards overly inflated claims about himself that always seemed to grow larger with each telling which the "church" has never tried to correct. 3, Hubbards growing paranoia until his death in seclusion attended only by a few of his closest aides (of which most were booted out of the cult or punished by David Miscaviage, the current cult-leader) which manifested itself with his inventing at first Sea Org and then several other organisations within the cult supposedly in control (which ultimatly led to a power struggle between the organisations) then the Rehabilitation Project Force (an in-cult concentration camp aimed at punishing people who dared to think individually, in cult-lingo called "to put ethics" on someone which also stands for other kinds of punishments). 4, The cults persecution of outside critics (inside ones were either booted out or put in RPF). The cult is noted for it's extreme use of basicly frivolous lawsuits used to harass all critics, in one case it even succeded to put the Cult Awareness Network into bankruptcy and then bying the rights to its name and launching its own website under the name of the New Cult Awareness Network (which is noted for its extreme pro-cult policies and actions and is to be avoided). The cult has also managed to falsify charges against the author of a cult-critical book which almost sent her to jail. The author is/was Paulette Cooper and the book The Scandal of Scientology which was published in the 1970s. 5, The cults extreme fees needed to advance within the many levels of the cult and the tendency for these to increase both in size and in number. 6, The cults focus on recruting celebrities and these celebrities diverse success in recruting new members to the cult. The question remains open as to whether Tom Cruise is an asset or a liability to the cult. 7, The cults "war" on psychology. While the cult is activly fighting against all forms of psychotherapy (one wonders if this is a symptom of L Rons own fear that he was mentally ill) most psychologists seems blissfully unaware of this so-called war. 8, The cults manipulation and oppression of its own members, a sure sign of a destructive cult. 9, The cults extreme beliefs, derived from Hubbards equally outlandish books. Which includes: That we all can remember everything from some time before conception (called: "The sperm dream"). That we can remember past lifes (including lifes lived on other planets) That women try to abort most of their children several times during the pregnancy (each of which is remembered by the fetus) That the fetus suffers and can remember when its mother was constipated That the fetus remembers arguments verbatim and can later start to act accordingly(exemplified by a woman hearing her father raping her mother while she was in the womb and screaming "take that" leading to the woman later becoming a cleptomaniac) That sex is degrading and was forced upon us by evil aliens (a statement Hubbard made late in life when one can suppose, his own equipment wasn´t in good working order) 10, The setting up and use of exterior supposedly independent organisations to attack critics of the cult and everyone the cult feels is their enemy. Organisations that go very far when trying to hide their connections to the cult. The cult has even tried infiltrating many organisations that have critisized the cult. 11, The fact that in lawsuits the cults arguments are often inflated and sometimes contradictory with themselves or with the fact that they are supposedly a church. Many have called Scientology a schizoid cult and wondered whether this was a reflection of its founders mental health. A psychologist talking about the cult thought that L Ron Hubbard was more similar to a necrophile, similar to hitler. For sources and even more nuttyness, check out these sites: operation clambake, factnet, the smoking gun(which has all of Hubbards letters to the FBI), wikipedia and youtube and these online books: The Scandal of Scientology, A Piece of Blue Sky, L Ron Hubbard: Messiah or Madman?, Scientology, The Now religion

Tom Cruise: I... you know, wow.. I mean... wosh... you know... and we can help... (laughing like a demented madman) Was Tom Cruises mind and verbal abilities destroyed by Scientology or did he need to be demented in order to join in the first place?...

Author: Kurt von Stedingk http://scientology.urbanup.com/3047645
61. (Scientology) (51↑, 15↓)
simply put: the stupidest fucking religion in the whole world. also see [stupid],[dumb],[fake],[tom cruise]

If you believe in scientology, then you deserve to be hung from a burning tree with dental floss

62. (Scientology) (33↑, 4↓)
The one "religion" that Atheists and Christians can look at and just say to each other "Thats bullshit."

Christian: God is to real\! Atheist: The bible is a book a fairytails\! Scientologist: Hello have you heard about the church of Scientology? Christian & Atheist: Thats a lode of bullshit\!

63. (scientology) (35↑, 7↓)
see [pyramid scheme]

scientology is a legitimate religion according to the united states government.

Author: tom cruise you lose http://scientology.urbanup.com/4088609
64. (Scientology) (37↑, 10↓)
A religion for incredibly stupid people. Also, one of the most successful money scams around currently.

Tom Cruise follows Scientology.

65. (scientology) (101↑, 78↓)
a religion for people who hear voices in their heads that tells you to do bad things like burn things, kick that annoying guys ass,and the vocies also tell you that your gay. You are convients that you are not crazy and will belive anything that proves that ecessialy if it says psychologist are wrong or the crazy ones sense they will try to tell you what you don't want to hear. They belive the voices are bad but wather your a scientologist or a crazy person don't lisen to the vocies because you might burn down a house or worst of all kick my annoying ass. that may be just worst for me onless I'm in the house.

crazy due: I'M NOT CRAZY\! IT'S THE ALIENS IN MY MIND\! THAT WHAT'S TALKING TO ME\! Kid: who are you talking to? Are you crazy? Crazy due: I'M NOT CRAZY, THE VOCIES WILL LEAVE WHEN I PRACTISE SCIENTOLOGY\! THEN WE WILL SEE WHO IS CRAZY\!?\!? do you want get the voices out TO? kid: I don't hear vocies in my head you crazy fuck\! But thanks for asking crazy fuck. crazy due: But, but they tolled me every one hears them\!:( Kid: nope... Voices: you should kick that kids ass then burn down a chruch\! Voices: yes do it, do it...lisen to us\! crazy due: you know some times voices you gest make so much sences (After kicking the kids ass like a crazed monkey and burning down a cruch like a crazy gorila, that can use a gas can and a lighter that is) crazy due: why did I ever dout you voices I will belive everything you say from now on. voices: your gay. no wait super gay\! crazy due: STOP FUCKING WITH ME VOCIES\! I did walk walk right into that one thought.

Author: shafty Mick Jonhson http://scientology.urbanup.com/1744025
66. (scientology) (29↑, 7↓)
a highly contagious disease sexually transmitted by tom cruise

nicole kidman was once at risk of catching scientology

67. (Scientology) (23↑, 4↓)
Proof that people will believe anything you throw at them.

Mike's belief in Scientology is evidence that, no matter what BS you come up with, somebody in the world will believe it.

Author: The second man in the moon. http://scientology.urbanup.com/5126010
68. (Scientology) (21↑, 3↓)
Some bullshit called Dianetics cooked up by a wannabe dr. phil with some aliens and space shuttle shit all thrown in for laughs and faggotry. Has literally raised enough money to buy themselves their own personal cruise ship where tom cruse can recite psuedo-scientific, mel-gibson praising rhetoric.

"I think I'm gonna conver to Scientology." "Yeah, I don't give two shits, sorry."

69. (Scientology) (21↑, 4↓)
The bastard cult that killed Lisa McPherson by starving her to death in an isolation chamber.

John: 'Did you hear that the cult of Scientology starved Lisa McPherson to death?' Jane: 'No, what happened?' John: 'Look it up, those people are brainwashed to be cruel.'

70. (scientology) (35↑, 18↓)
A load of bullshit started by a greedy Jew Sci-fi writer.

That nufag thinks that scientology is actually about religion? Its about giving your leader all of your money\!\!

71. (Scientology) (19↑, 4↓)
A total BS religion that has so thoroughly brainwashed the rich and stupid that it took the death of John Travolta's son for him to be able to shake free from its cult-like powers.

Neil: Hey, man, I heard John Travolta is leaving Scientology. Bob: Good for him. But what will he waste his money on now? He must have given those douche bags hundreds of thousands over the years. Did he even make OT Thetan level 7 yet? Neil: Who gives a shit?\!

72. (scientology) (21↑, 8↓)
the most fucked up religeon in the world.they kill people and stuff.

"hey have you ever heard of the religeon scientology?" "yah its gay"

73. (scientology) (23↑, 10↓)
People who think L Ron Hubbard still lives in their minds, thus letting him invisibly suck their extremely tiny cocks

Scientology is something that even fails more then George Bush

74. (Scientology) (30↑, 17↓)
Religion invented by L. Ron Hubbard. Members can be divided into the people who really believe the religion, and people who use the religion as a status symbol because of the costs of being in it (i.e most celebrity practitioners). Some members can be found in shopping malls and other public places, advertising "free stress tests".

The Church of Scientology costs several hundred thousand dollars to complete.

75. (scientology) (20↑, 8↓)
scientology, derived from the latin meaning douche he who is a member of a salvery scam *cough* religion written by a science fiction writer who claimed he could make a religion if we wanted to and that the best way to enslave people is to tell them that there free, this very same man suddenly became a prophet and created the tottally legit and believable religion bollocksology.

non scientologist: woah man look at all these stupid scientology douchebags hanging around scientologist: just because ive cut myself off from my family morgaged my home, given every penny i have to the church and killed people for the mighty prophet tom cruise doesnt mean im a douche dammit\!

Author: TheTruthOfAnonymous http://scientology.urbanup.com/4340347
76. (scientology) (23↑, 11↓)
It's like mashed potatoes, but it's not mashed and it's not potatoes.

Scientology teaches you that your heart is an alien's testicle pumping space cum through your veins.

77. (Scientology) (23↑, 11↓)
A cult formed by the followers of L Rob Hubbard. Followers believe that they are "the elite" of the planet. Staff and "Sea Org" members are paid very very little money, if any. And are expected to give all of their time, money (including savings and income) and soul to the cult. Those who do not follow are shunned and punished. Most members, especially staff, lie, steal, and manipulate unsuspecting people out of their money in order to "go clear" and "go up the bridge" of "spiritual freedom".

I only wanted to learn about life, and Scientology, but I was taken for everything I owned and ended up with nothing but low self esteem and no bank account and no home.

78. (scientology) (13↑, 3↓)
A strange, pseudo-science cult founded by science fiction author, L Ron Hubbard in 1952. Scientology claims to be able to cure any type of disease such as [diabeetus] [aids] or even "cure" homosexuality. Apparantly, that appealed to many famous actors like Tom Cruise and John Travolta, because they seemed to flock towards the strange cult. The "CHURCHES" main practice is Dianetics, a half assed pile of crap which was advertised as a "self help" treatment, even though it just advertises the shitty cult it was spawned from. Scientology is subject to many [lulz] from message boards, encyclopedia dramaitica, and many other peoples on the internet. Scientology is surrounded in controversy since its founding, and the creator of this monstrocity of a religion's moralities were questioned after being discharged from the navy, and being permanantly banished from England.

scientology is scary :O

79. (Scientology) (14↑, 4↓)
A cult that thinks it is a religion that is pretty much a scam. There is no word that can discribe it at all. It has no evidence backing it up unlike most of the other religions in the US.

You broke my BS meter when you tried to convert me to scientology. Scientology is based off a book and movie. With no history backing it up.

Author: †♠Some_guy♠† http://scientology.urbanup.com/4924155
80. (scientology) (16↑, 6↓)
A giant sucking maw designed to trap the gullible and remove them from their money, dignity, and ability to discriminate between reason and complete bullshit. Scientology was invented by [L. Ron Hubbard], one of the most notorious charlatans, fantasists, and liars every to waddle around like a big fat [douche bag].

Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard says that we are all possessed by the souls of aliens murdered by Xenu, so clearly he's full of shit. I, however, am a christian and I believe that God made the world in seven days and that Mary really was a virgin when she pushed out the Jebus. So I'm a fuckin' genius, then.

81. (Scientology) (25↑, 15↓)
A church who realized that everyone hated them, so they got a bunch of their brainwashed members to act like the public and post good things about the church of scientology. Don't believet the lies they feed you.

Bill: I joined the church of scientology Joe: You also have a small wang Bill: I know, but so did L. Ron Hubbard

82. (Scientology) (7↑, 2↓)
A "religion" founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubard. The central beliefs are that an alien named Xenu trapped alien souls in people, or on earth, or something like that. No one is really sure, but it's almost unanimously accepted as a science fiction money making scam because to actually find out what it's about, you have to pay a boatload of cash. The best explanation of Scientology can be found in the season 9 South Park episode, "Traped in the Closet", where Stan is thought to be the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubard and Tom Cruise wont come out of the closet.

Anyone who believes Scientology is on something strong, lives in California, or both.

83. (Scientology) (15↑, 14↓)
A less popular copy of [Christianity]. Similar principle, but less public appeal.

Guy 1: Hey, dude, you know what I just realised? Guy 2: What? Guy 1: Scientology is just like Christianity. Guy 2: What? Guy 1: Well, they both involve some great celestial being and people believing in what they read in a fiction novel. Guy 2: Holy shit.

84. (Scientology) (1↑, 3↓)
The phenomenon in which Anonymous kills a fad faster, based on it's popularity.

Man\#1: Dude... Getonmyhorse.com got hit by Anonymous. Man\#2: Wasn't that huge for a while? Man\#3: Yeah. Leave it to Anonymous, right? Man\#1: Scientology'd.

Author: Conspicuous-Ninja http://scientology.urbanup.com/5394073
85. (scientology) (104↑, 111↓)
A religion made up by Tom Cruise to make people think he's crazy.

Todd: Did you know that Tom Cruise believes in scientology? Lenny: I think he's crazy\!

Author: International Lesbian Actor http://scientology.urbanup.com/2031753
86. (scientology) (22↑, 36↓)
1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by [L. Ron Hubbard] as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s. 2. The act of engaging in [sexual intercourse] with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a [microscope]. 3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science\!" He then takes off her top and studies her [breasts] whilst [masturbating]. Upon completion, he [jisms] into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.

1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do\! Yes, you\! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?" Man: "No." 2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob\!" 3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?" Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?" Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?" Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".

87. (Scientology) (11↑, 83↓)
The religeon founded by L. Ron Hubbard. The subjects name means scio, which means knowing how to know in the fullest sense of the word. Ology, which means "study of". So it is actualy study of knowingness. That is what the word itself means. The Scientology religeon helps people in their life in a variety of ways such as riding the body of toxins with the purification rundown and performing "drills" which help the person confront and help their comunication skills. Scientology is a sworn enemy of psychiatry. Psychiatry is an evil that has ruined millions of lives. We are led to believe that psychiatry helps the mentaly ill but that is a lie. Mental illnesses don't exist. Depresion, ADD, ADHD, Schizophrenia, etc do not exist. Psychiatry is an authoritarian, evil group that force drugs people with mind bending poison and shock therapy in the name of helping people. In some cases that causes them to murder their family. When you hear on the news that someone has murdered their family for no aparent reason you can bet they were on psych drugs. There are many lies put out about Scientology, such as them being refered to as a "cult" and a fraud. This is nothing but propaganda put out by psychiatry and the global elite. Scientology is one of the only true threats to psychiaty and the global elite.

By seeking to obscure what the Scientology religion is, psychiatrists have instead revealed the truth about themselves. Psychiatric front group label of Scientology as a “cult” is only one more mistake by psychiatry. The work done to uncover the malicious intentions of psychiatry toward man and to wipe out the attack has been and is being done by the directors and staffs of Scientology organizations on five continents and by the millions of Scientologists and friends over the world. The Scientology movement is not pushed by one man, it is pushed by millions. If you champion the dignity and freedom of mankind, you are a Scientologist at heart if not by name. We are no cult. We are the most able technicians in the field of the mind on the planet and are the only skilled experts in this field who can produce uniformly beneficial and permanent good results. We now outnumber psychiatry by about 100 to 1. We believe in mankind. We can and are helping man, our countries and society. We are not “one man.” We are millions and we are everywhere. --------------------- L. Ron Hubbard Founder

88. (Scientology) (10↑, 87↓)
The word Scientology literally means "the study of truth." It comes from the Latin word "scio" meaning "knowing in the fullest sense of the word" and the Greek word "logos" meaning "study of." Scientology is the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, others and all of life. The religion comprises a body of knowledge extending from certain fundamental truths. In Scientology no one is asked to accept anything as belief or on faith. That which is true for you is what you have observed to be true. An individual discovers for himself that Scientology works by personally applying its principles and observing or experiencing results.

He wanted help solving problems at work, so he went to the Church of Scientology.

89. (Scientology) (11↑, 89↓)
The religeon founded by L. Ron Hubbard. The subjects name means scio, which means knowing how to know in the fullest sense of the word. Ology, which means "study of". So it is actualy study of knowingness. That is what the word itself means. The Scientology religeon helps people in their life in a variety of ways such as riding the body of toxins with the purification rundown and performing "drills" which help the person confront and help their comunication skills. They have a variety of courses to improve the mind such as the comunications course and many more. Scientology is a sworn enemy of psychiatry. Psychiatry is an evil that has ruined millions of lives. We are led to believe that psychiatry helps the mentaly ill but that is a lie. Mental illnesses don't exist. Depresion, ADD, ADHD, Schizophrenia, etc do not exist. Psychiatry is an authoritarian, evil group that force drugs people with mind bending poison and shock therapy in the name of helping people. In some cases that causes them to murder their family. When you hear on the news that someone has murdered their family for no aparent reason you can bet they were on psych drugs. There are many lies put out about Scientology, such as them being refered to as a "cult" and a fraud. This is nothing but propaganda put out by psychiatry and the global elite. Scientology is one of the only true threats to psychiaty and the global elite.

By seeking to obscure what the Scientology religion is, psychiatrists have instead revealed the truth about themselves. Psychiatric front group label of Scientology as a “cult” is only one more mistake by psychiatry. The work done to uncover the malicious intentions of psychiatry toward man and to wipe out the attack has been and is being done by the directors and staffs of Scientology organizations on five continents and by the millions of Scientologists and friends over the world. The Scientology movement is not pushed by one man, it is pushed by millions. If you champion the dignity and freedom of mankind, you are a Scientologist at heart if not by name. We are no cult. We are the most able technicians in the field of the mind on the planet and are the only skilled experts in this field who can produce uniformly beneficial and permanent good results. We now outnumber psychiatry by about 100 to 1. We believe in mankind. We can and are helping man, our countries and society. We are not “one man.” We are millions and we are everywhere. ------------------------- L. Ron Hubbard Founder

90. (Scientology) (8↑, 170↓)
The ability to place negative thoughts in a Christian's head by simply saying this single word. Similar to the word holocost to a Jew, brings on fear and predictiable conditioned responses from Brainwashed Catholics, baptists, Muslims and other ignorunt swine. Strikes fear and contempt in a Christian's head.

To be a student of Scientology, is to be free of Religous teachings and conceptual hatred of your fellow man.

91. (Scientology) (17↑, 268↓)
1. Something people do when ordinary answers don't seem good enough. . 2. Study of mental processes and improvement thereof. . 3. Institution for life improvement using communication, ethics, and a study of spirituality.

1. "He is doing Scientology." . 2. "Her Scientology has helped her with her compulsions." . 3. "They have become more ethical since getting into Scientology."

Author: your friend, Mark http://scientology.urbanup.com/2776246
92. (Scientology) (36↑, 326↓)
A subject that quite a few people think they know ALL about without doing any real research. The owners of the mainstream media (i.e. the owners of this planet) rely on the hypnotic gullibility and suggestibility of a large % of Earth people. This fact ensures that people spend countless billions of dollars on psychiatric drugs every year and support war while mindlessly attacking a subject which can help create a sane civilization on Earth.

Joe: "Scientology is a weird brainwashing cult\!" Bill: "Scientology is actually just a subject, but tell me, how many Scientology books have you read?" Joe: "None, but I did watch a TV show about it and I just repeat what I hear since I can't think for myself." Bill: "You dumbass\!"

93. (scientology) (35↑, 424↓)
The only religion PROVEN to increase sanity.

"Scientology is the means to achieving perfect mental clarity."

Author: Reverend Jacob K Reist http://scientology.urbanup.com/2853114
94. (scientology) (87↑, 534↓)
Scientology was founded in 1952 by L. Ron Hubbard, an American science fiction writer and author of the best-selling book "Dianetics" (1950), which launched a popular self-enhancement movement out of which the Church of Scientology emerged. The name Scientology means "knowing how to know," and it maintains that it "constitutes man's first real application of scientific methodology to spiritual questions." Scientology asserts it is not merely a belief system but a mode of action, and it has a complicated vocabulary of its own. Its basic postulate is that experience, in this or in previous lives, is recorded in the brain as a series of "engrams." These engrams are revived and reinforced by recurring similar situations and always cause inappropriate and self-defeating behavior. One's goal of Scientology is to "process" or clear these engrams and become more self-determining. By erasing these accretions from one's present and past lives, one releases the essential, spiritual self or soul called the "thetan." Scientology has ministers who perform some religious rites and sacraments, but their main function is individual counseling. Scientology is tightly organized from the top down, with a close-knit inner circle and many highly committed adherents, including such celebrities as John Travolta and Tom Cruise. The church has impressive property holdings as well as a history of conflict with the U.S. and British governments. L. Ron Hubbard's best-selling book "Dianetics" is probably the closest thing to sacred scriptures for the Church of Scientology.

(BTNH)HEY look a bunch of crackers (CTONN)ha ha ha ha ha hahhahah /scientology guy/ we are not crackers (BTNH) FUCK U damn blue eyed cracker

95. (Scientology) (72↑, 863↓)
"Scientology is knowledge. That's all Scientology is. The word Scientology means knowledge. That's all it means. Scio means knowing in the fullest sense of the word. Many people believe this is named after "science." No, is's scio; knowing in the fullest sense of the word; studying how to know in the fullest sense of the word. But this is the same word as Dharma, which means "knowledge"; Tao, which means "the way to knowledge", Buddhism, which means "the way to spiritual knowledge." It's an old word, a very old word. It happens to contain within it today possibly the bulk of what is knowable in terms of theory that is immediately knowable to anyone anywhere."

Who cares what happens when others do not? The Scientologist. Who can help handle criminality, drug abuse , illiteracy? Anyone who choices to get Scientology applied. Who are the Scientologists? Those who are opinion leaders in the arts, science's and technology.

96. (SCIENTOLOGY) (66↑, 889↓)
Scientology believes man to be basically good, not evil. It is man’s experiences that have led him to commit evil deeds, not his nature. Often, he mistakenly seeks to solve his problems by considering only his own interests, which then causes trouble for both himself and others. Scientology believes that man advances to the degree he preserves his spiritual integrity and values, and remains honest and decent. Indeed, he deteriorates to the degree he abandons these qualities.

I found out with Scientology that I am not as bad as I thought I was.

97. (SCIENTOLOGY) (80↑, 987↓)
Scientology Aims: A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where man is free to rise to greater heights, are the aims of Scientology

I agree with the aims of Scientology. It is addressing everybody's freedom.

98. (Scientology) (86↑, 1266↓)
The science of life that answers the eternal unanswered questions such what or who we are , where we came from and where we might be going. It has been presented to the world since the early 1950s by one of the world's greatest geniuses, L Ron Hubbard. Unfortunately the failed Earth natives to whom this was presented to , turned out to be so immersed in their own superstitions, egotisms and prejudices that they managed to trash the work that what offered to them on a silver platter. The wisdom of the scientology subject will probably not be realized by the current primitives who inhabit the Earth anymore than would the culture of the dark ages admit the tenets of 21st century science. Hopefully in a few generations , humankind, if it survives its self destructive period ,will evolve from its infantile barbaric stage and the generations living then will realize what they have gotten handed to them. Hence most of the work of current officers of Scientology is concerned with preserving the materials for those future generations.

The simplest meaning for the word Scientology would be THE TRUTH ABOUT LIFE.

Related: tom cruise, cult, religion, xenu, l. ron hubbard, scientologist, anonymous, scam, dianetics, bullshit, katie holmes, hubbard, crazy, gay, john travolta, cruise, fake, church, church of scientology, god, tom, stupid, retarded, thetans, fraud, l ron hubbard, scifag, brainwashing, cults, douche, douchebag, science, cos, crap, evil, idiot, lies, aliens, christian, con
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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